It happened today. Right in front of my eyes. Caleb and I were in Kroger's, getting a few items for dinner as well as lunches the rest of the week. Lauren was asleep in the car and Jen was with her. We got the salami and Munster cheese, then went for the frozen pizza. We were heading to the fruit side of the store to get fresh fruit for lunches when I decided to take a sudden turn and go to the salad bar. After all, what is a good frozen pizza without a fresh tossed salad from the bar. It was then I heard my cute little 1st grader say, here is some fruit. I knew he was talking about the cut fruit on the salad bar, so I finished putting in my salad fixings in the container and looked up at him...
THEN IT HAPPENED....
NO..................... He took a huge bite out of the cut watermelon off the salad bar. Crunch, crunch, crunch and swallow. It was gone, into his stomach. Caleb, my bubby, the preacher's son, had just stolen watermelon. I know, I know, don't find specks when you had planks. I get it. Yes, his dad picked a few grapes off from stores many years ago, but this was different. I was dad. I am a preacher. People know me. WHAT DO I DO?
I knew this HAD to be a teaching moment. I asked him why he would take that when it didn't belong to him, to which he responded, "because I was hungry." Okay, Caleb, but it is not yours, it doesn't belong to you, you have not paid for it, that is stealing. It was then that Caleb looked at my salad freshly put together in my hand and said, "then that salad don't belong to you." Clever little cus, isn't he. I went on to explain that I would be buying it and would not eat it until after I did. But that his watermelon (which he had finished by now) was in his stomach and there was no way to see it to pay for it.
As we walked towards the checkout, I was not sure what to do. Is talking enough? What are the consequences? Where is the lesson? Finally, it hit me. Caleb, I said, you need to apologize to someone that works here and then I will have to offer to pay, if they don't call the police on us (okay, a little harsh I know, but I was on a role).
First person I saw at a register I actually knew. It was Matt. He has come to church a few times with one of our teens. I could have Caleb apologize to him. Well, Matt's line was really long. Finally, I knew we were going to have to do self check out if we wanted to get out of there. The self checkout guy was not the one. He was half asleep and I am not even sure he knew where he was at. We payed up and started to walk toward the door. Who could I get? What should I do? Caleb then speaks up, as only an innocent child would do, and says, "Dad, who do I need to say sorry too?" It was in that moment that I saw the man with the black name badge. No, not the Morman elders that come to our doors, but a Kroger Manager.
We walked up and I explained to the man that my son had taken a piece of watermelon off the salad bar and eaten it. I had told him that was not right and that we could get in trouble. I then explained how I felt that Caleb needed to apologize to him and that then I would pay the man whatever he said I needed too. It was great, this trained manager was speechless. It was priceless. Then Caleb spoke up and said, "I'm sorry." Then I asked how much we owed. The man stuttered around and then finally said, you don't owe anything. It was at that moment, the man's parenting skills kicked in and he said something similar to this..."This time you don't owe anything and the apology is enough, however, if you do this again, the next time it will not be good." I LOVED IT! We both thanked the nice man and moved out the door.
On the way to the car I quickly replayed all the events for Caleb and talked about what had just happened and made sure he would never do that again. Then we got to the car and opened the door. I said nothing to Jen, I just waited and wondered how long Caleb could resist. It was like 3 seconds until he told mom the whole story. A few miles down the road, Caleb asked me if he had to be in time out. I am so glad he asked, because in that moment I was able to give my own grace to my son. I told him that he had apologized, it had been accepted and so it was forgotten. It was over and there was not need for time out.
Why share this? Well, as horrifying as seeing my son steal was to me, it was a priceless teaching moment. As parents we must always manage our responses and look for ways to correct and teach in all situations. I pray he never forgets what happened and how he felt. I pray he saw GRACE and FORGIVENESS in the event. The real reason I needed to share, I think I finally passed as a parent. For all the things I have not handled well, I hit a grand slam on this one!
Parent of the year? Well, maybe not. Go ahead parents, did I do well? Why not comment or e-mail me and let me know. Share your stories with me. Thanks for reading. Oh yes, and JESSE, there, I finally blogged! LOL
B. OUT!!
